Sooooo… Been a while, huh?
So what's new? Nothing, really. Except that I hate my job. I alluded to it in my last post, I think. But it's gotten worse.
All of the good people are ALL looking for another job. But the economy BLOWS right now. It's hard to find open positions that we have. And I'm looking to go up. I'm looking at the $85K – $95K range. My coworkers either at my current pay or higher. Perhaps I'm over-reaching?
The only other thing I've been doing lately is getting a bit depressed. Both socially and romantically, I'm feeling a bit down. You see, there's the usual lack of romance. I'm still in this stupid Woe-is-me phase. No girl finds that attractive. And since they don't, I feel so unappealing, it's scary. Which feeds my Woe-is-me feelings. Enough of that. I've beat that into the grave.
The social side… I've realized that I'm awkward with people. Especially with new people. But in addition, is the season…
I HATE the holidays because it serves to remind me how alone I am. Ironic, considering my situation. But in reality, I'm very much alone. I have no family, really. And I hate having to decide how to handle the, "What are you doing for Christmas?" or "How was your Thanksgiving?" You see, people have a hard time handling my response if I told them the truth. If you'd just told your coworker that you had a great holiday with your family or had a nice big Thanksgiving dinner, what do you say when they tell you that they, in contrast, spent the holiday alone? And they try to avoid tv and people because it may remind them too much of how alone they are.
I suck. The worst is the proximity of these occasions are to each other. First it's my birthday. Then, Thanksgiving. Then followed by Christmas and New Years. Within 2 months, all of these crammed together. Fucking awesome.
I suck.
