While my position isn't glorious or complicated, I do get occasional surges of deadline-driven work. Mostly due to quarterly meetings, big-wig meetings and what-not. Let's be clear. Leading up to the last 3 weeks, I've had a super-easy job. My reports were somewhat easy to do (easy to do, yet painfully manual and tedious due to the nature of the database we use at work… nothing is consistent or common, it seems), I work with super-chill people and I didn't have anyone ever breath down my neck (still don't).
But, leading up to the last month or so, I've been swamped with requests for data to support the Top-to-Top meeting (meeting between the heads of my company and the client), Quarterly DSM meeting, meeting between the Client's VP of Sales and our leadership (which I knew wouldn't require anything from me, but still I stressed a little about studying reports and data. Just in case!) and now the National Sales Meeting.
Again, let's be clear, much of it is self-induced stress. Never have my bosses or co-workers pressured me or stressed me out. At least, not directly. Although, I DO have a certain person in the program that has a problem with a lot of the stuff I do. Rationally, I don't care. Yet, I can't deny that I get irritated somewhere deep down.
It's a little bit of frustration from seeing how far behind the curve I am compared to some people I respect very much. While I'm not required to think like they do, I still have issues with thinking of the details. When I was at T-Mobile, I could run programs from beginning to finish. There are so many little variables in this program that I don't even think about. Jeremy is constantly going, "Did you remember about…" or "What about"… He does it in a very nice way, though.
That guy is freak'n amazing. His attention to detail is staggering. And while a lot of times I won't think of something until I've thought about it for a little bit, he'll pick that shit out from the very beginning. And he's never given me shit about it. He either points it out in a nice way or asks me leading questions until I realize it myself. And then there's Tim… uber-laid back and dedicated. I deal less with him since I do more pure data stuff, while he's the Merch Manager. But I know that if I have a question about something, he's got the answer when it comes to merchandising or fulfillment.
I see these guys and realize that I suck at operations. I've always been better at organizing and communicating. At T-Mobile, I'd get the reports and get a group of my people together to plan how we'd respond. Then, I'd work to organize all of them or liaison with other parties that needed to be involved. I thought I was hot shit because I knew the answers or knew how to get the answers. I was the common link between everyone.
But that's not the same here… I'm constantly playing catch-up.
I think I've gotten a bit of influence. But I know there are limits. There are certain personality types that I have a hard time working with. I don't like pushing them. Perhaps I'm a bit conservative with them. But I honestly believe that although I've gained a bit of respect from some quarters, I don't have everyone's respect. And I sure as hell don't have the position weight to back me up. So I have to choose my words and actions carefully.
It'd be much easier if people could speak clearly and not have to worry about giving offense, people "feelings" and the bullshit politics. I swear, the most inconsequential action can lead to someone throwing a mental bitch-fit. Sending an email out to a given group of people can spark a "situation" because it wasn't sent by someone of a certain "rank".
GROW THE FUCK UP.
On the flip-side, I completely understand people over-stepping their position. Some of us don't know details or even have an idea of what's going on in other aspects of the program. And I'm pretty confident I don't try to speak about something I'm not involved with without stating that the person I'm talking to should get more details or clarification from those that are the experts in that aspect. I do have a problem when people speak about things they don't know about and then get things messed up or bringing a subject up and not knowing anything about it. That just leads to what we like to call a Monkey Knife Fight (MKF).
Which leads me to another thing… People respond better when you don't try and force yourself into something. So many people in this program try to insert themselves into something. If something doesn't have anything to do with them, they'll still try and get involved. The funniest thing, is I hardly ask, "Can I be a part of that?" And yet, I get into quite a few things I don't need or want to be involved with. I don't necessarily have a problem, mind you. I just wish people didn't act like fucking piranhas so much. Shit will come to you. Relax.
Anyway, back to the subject… A company that supports the Client in a different way also had a Program Manager they just hired. The guy may be good. I just wish he wasn't so passive-aggressive with me. I'm probably splitting hairs, but there's a lot of reasons why I do certain things the way I do. My reports evolved through the needs of the end users. Granted, 60 percent of the data on one report comes from this guy's company. However, he's been trying to change little things. These little things make a big impact to the reporting or what you can do with it.
Actually, I'm glad he pushes me. At least he's thinking about it. But he keeps pushing back on the same things over and over. Perhaps he just needs time to learn it and then understand it. I don't think I've been rude yet. I just need to continue explaining and perhaps try a different way to explaining. Perhaps I just need to have him sit down with me more so he can see it and I can explain it more and more.
I just hope he isn't so aggressive with others. Because I can see some people who may not take to it very well, regardless of their level of politeness. He's kinda straddled the line a few times, already, in my mind.
Anyway, so I have to work with him to build out programs and reporting that will help the Client, and I've been a little worried because I haven't dedicated enough time to doing that. I really need to get on the ball.
There's a lot going on (even stuff I haven't written about). But no matter what, I can't complain because I don't have it nearly as bad as Jeremy, Tim or the Client.
The annoying thing? Every once in a while, I still think about how if I stayed at T-Mobile, how the new upper management would've allowed me to take the National Operations Manager (NOM) position remotely. I would've made significantly more money (and perks!) and I would've been confident in what I was doing.
Funny that in approx a year, I was the fucking king in the Indirect Channel operations at T-Mobile. And in just under a year, here, I'm still trying to get my feet under me.
FUCK.
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