I've always known I'm an asshole. But yesterday, sitting in an IT meeting, I realized how much of an asshole I REALLY was.
After the first 5 minutes of minutia that was divulged about a product solution that another analyst and I politely dismissed, the proposing company still tried to salvage their proposal. To be honest, we granted them quite a bit of professional courtesy. We allowed them to keep going and didn't really make them look like idiots.
The moment, though, that I realized how much of an I am was when 30 minutes into their pitch, I realized that Unibrow Chick, Thick Accent What-The-Fuck-Did-You-Say Chick and Nerdy Bobble Head Guy all were talking about real shit. And that real shit was something they were taking VERY seriously. That was money for them. For all I know, that was desperately needed business to keep their business afloat. Who knows?
You see, I stopped respecting them as people when I got irritated listening to the desperate tone of the Thick Accent What-The-Fuck-Did-You-Say Chick trying to persuade us that Microsoft's Reporting Services could do what we wanted (to which I'll let you know, it can't). I starting making up little plays in my mind. And the three characters that were sitting across the conference table were the main stars. Lavish contrived scenarios were played out, one after another.
And this was all because of two things:
One: I lost respect for them because of their undignified desperate attempt at trying to convince us of something when our minds were made up. Granted, I have respect for someone being passionate and fighting for what they want. But when a potential client tells you, "No," it's pretty cut and dry. And in addition, I have no respect for people who try and con clients into using their services, when something else exists.
You see, what they do is help other companies set up reporting and databases. The problem is that they only know a couple key programs. And they'll try and make everything fit into the confines of those programs, regardless of if the programs are a good match or not. It's like using a wheelbarrow for a wheelchair. You can do it. You'd require a friend to lift and push you to the right location, to move around though. That's sort of what they're trying to do.
And the second thing: Because I can be a judgmental asshole. You know how I get all annoyed about how I'm dismissed because of my height (or, lack thereof)?
HYPOCRITE!
I couldn't get over Unibrow Chick's neanderthalish qualities. A heavy brow completely emphasized by her thick, heavy hairy eyebrows that although clearly two separate entities, could be confused as one singular masterpiece of stereotypical Armenian racial joke. Not only did they encroach upon each other, there was some light hair in other people's gap of the no-man's-land of eyebrows. For this woman, Pyscho Mike's Brow Down kept playing in my head the WHOLE time (if you've never seen it, go to YouTube and search for Brow Down). That masterpiece from the Kevin and Bean show perfectly described this lady.
The next woman that earns my assholeness ire was the Thick Accent What-The-Fuck-Did-You-Say Chick. While no beauty herself, aural issues were her problem. Her accent was so thick, that I couldn't fucking figure out what the hell she was saying. I'm sorry, this is complete asshole right here, but why the fuck would you take a chick that could barely get out English to a meeting to sell your services? She brought NO VALUE to the meeting. All she did was keep trying to keep bringing the conversation back to using MS Reporting Services (at least, that's what I think she kept saying… We couldn't really tell). This served only to piss off Becky. And Becky's not the type of person to piss off.
Finally, there was the Nerdy Bobble Head Guy. While I'm as much of a dorky nerd as anyone out there, at least I look semi-normal (yes, that's debatable). This guy had a the typical, white-boy early-90's wall street haircut (think Christian Bale in American Pyscho. The PERFECT visualization of this guy's hair). With this guy, the hair made his head look massive on his body. Perhaps it was the tie cinched tightly that accentuated his scrawny neck. And when he nodded his head every time we made a statement or point… well, you get the idea.
All these were judgments. Granted, I stand behind my evaluation of their poor preparation and presentation skills (not to mention, general business knowledge). But, even if they were super smart, I'd still be seeing them act out several scenes in my head.
HAHA. I still see them.
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