What happened?

I'm feeling far from manly, right now. I feel… I don't even know.

My best friend, someone I've known for 10 years (which, for me, is a lifetime… long story, I'll explain some other time), has basically forgotten me. And, I've found out, isn't really worrying about it. All for a guy that's been a dick to her (and, no, this is not the same girl I Twittered about early tonight, Jake) and she doesn't even really love. Hell, she doesn't even call him her boyfriend, since they're not really together.

I think they're both using each other for the companionship and the sex. Nothing wrong with either of those. But to forget your friends?

For the first time, she's not there for me. I've always been there for her and I've always dropped everything for her. But now she's basically forgotten me. And for him?

I think I'm going to shut myself away a little. It's a total whiny baby thing to do. It probably signifies some sort of mental weakness. But you have no idea what friendships mean to me. You have no idea the significance of it all to me. I place my heart in their hands. They are my family. And of all my friends, she stood above all others.

I feel numb. I feel… I don't even know. I may not respond or talk for a while. Please don't take it the wrong way.

Another piece of me has crumbled. And now I have to gather myself and try to salvage what little trust in friends I have left.